Thanks everyone for quick replies. Also, we don't actually speak. We text over matters of separation. I was advised early not to talk him out of leaving...let him go, perhaps he'll miss you. He won't talk about the marriage ending. I don't want to see him if we can't discuss this. And he does not know that I found out about the OP. BTW...I'm 55 yrs old. I'm very despondent. (Don't know the abreviations yet. Will try to learn them.) Will try to get the book. And I'm in counseling so I am working on myself. Lost weight, eating well, and walking every day. I need more activities because I'm spending too much time alone and watching tv. But as a problem solver, I related to dday's comment about having difficult problems at work. That was a very helpful analogy. Judy
