Sadly, this is one area where I have a little experience. One of my best friends and former roommates is recovering bulimic. She's been good for about 14 years now, but it took a lot of work.
Plus, in our spare time, Mr. W. and I run a nonprofit for kids with pediatric feeding problems--not the same ball of wax but is frequently categorized as the same. It has forced us to get more knowledge in both areas, though our "expertise" lies in the former category.
Patience, dear lady. Your daughter's self perception has not deteriorated over night. It's going to take a lot of work to help her work on her self esteem. Therapy is THE place for that.
I would definitely make sure that the therapist in question is very skilled in eating disorders--ask about the successful treatment rate as well. Explain to the therapist that you are in this for the long haul and not willing to cut corners to save time and money.
If you don't, the problem will resurface in college... and I think you have a great attitude and chance for success before she heads to college.
It might also help if you and your H head to a few sessions on parenting a child with an ED. There is definitely protocol involved... sort of like rules of engagement: as you wouldn't tell a depressed person to cheer up, you don't tell a person with an ED to smile and feel better about their body image.
The good news is that her friends came to the rescue early on. Let's just hope she sees their intervention for what it is and doesn't go out and get some new ones.
I know you're in a better position than most with this challenge, Ellie. You know the DB rules, which will definitely apply to your D. Now you just have to get your H on board too...
Somehow, I think you will handle this one A-OK. Your D is lucky to have you.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
