The cold hard truth is that you can't make him stay. People can't be controlled or manipulated like that. When I first read DR and came to this site, I was looking for a magic cure, a gypsy potion to make my wife love me again. I was wrong.
DBing (divorce-busting) is a twofold process; The first is to stop doing damaging things to your relationship and to yourself.
The second is to reclaim your life. Things like GAL (Get A Life), doing 180s, understanding yourself, and improving yourself.
It's hard not to want to "fix" the marriage, to "save" it by "trying really hard." But it just doesn't work. I would suggest reading through other people's threads so you can learn from their painful mistakes.
You'll make your own mistakes, and eventually learn to avoid them. But it's a long, hard process. And unfortunately, the success rate is very low.
BUT (and a big but) there is hope. There are some wonderful stories of reconciliation and renewal here. They'll give you hope, when you feel at your worst.
