I know you want her back. She's not attracted to you. She's using you. She doesn't respect you.
To get that back, you have to earn her respect; you need to make yourself physically attractive; you need to set clear boundaries that there will be no OM in her life.
You have "Doormat" tattooed by her on your ass, and until that's gone, she'll never love and respect you. Women want strong, assertive, confident men. Looking good is also important.
