Valentine's Day Massacre - The Piecing Chronicles

[kml]

Don't worry Kitti, I'm not hanging up my 2 x 4 I know how much I've benefitted when others have given me a good thwack

Ellie

Same for me kitti !

[KutieKat]

ellie

did you ever use a letter as a means to getting points across to your husband during the difficult phase?

[kml]

Oh, yeah, Kitti. I sent my H a few emails during that time. We had such a tough time talking to each other - and it was really hard for him to hear me through the alien racket in his brain. Written communication had not been a big part of our history, so it was also a new 180 for me. I think writing things down gives them the opportunity to hear what you are saying without going into defensive "I can't hear you" mode.

Now, having said that - if you communicate in writing, it REALLY has to be clear - so much can be misconstrued. You have access here to the world's best group of editors - US - so be sure to post anything you write to him and get feedback before you send it. And I think it's always best to stick to "I" statements - nothing that could sound accusatory. Butter him up. Validate him. Then tell him what you need.

Ellie

[KutieKat]

thanks for that reply

letter writing used to be BIG for us in the beginning and then it just tapered off - slowly at first and then nothing after a few years, we are both better writers than talkers

i wouldn't dream of giving him anything before i got everyone's approval! LOL

i have actually started a letter to my husband to give to him when i leave for california. lots of what you said, but i also want him to know where i stand. tired of this limbo land sort of thing ya know?

tell him again that i am here for him, get things off my chest about things i feel responsible for, but i am not willing to dwell on the past mistakes anymore, but i want to focus on our future and the solutions for us to have a better marriage

thanks for the help

[kml]

Last night, was lying in bed with H, falling asleep. I was just kind of overcome with happiness about him being there and kind of hopped on his back and gave him a big hug (no words). H said "yeah, I'm feeling the same way"

Ellie

[sage]

Last night, was lying in bed with H, falling asleep. I was just kind of overcome with happiness about him being there and kind of hopped on his back and gave him a big hug (no words). H said "yeah, I'm feeling the same way"

Ellie

[kml]

Forgot to mention -
may be in Boca Raton for a couple days in March - any Florida DBers want to have brunch on the 12th or 13th of March?

Ellie

[Livnlearn]

Ellie

Have you noticed that things are looking up for LDwife over on her thread?

Livnlearn

[KutieKat]

not good with geography, where is boca raton? i will be in jacksonville on the 13th most likely...