2gthr, Don't call it a loss until you know you can call it a loss. I have read some of your posts and I see the projections sa was talking about. I think sa has him pegged. The mask, insecurities, were always there. My wife did a good job of hiding it too. Now the stuff starts to show. He wants you to explore dating so he can justify to himself what he is doing. It seems so ridiculous to you and me but they seem to all play that card at some point. I know it is tough to hang in there. The amount of patience that is needed is just so incredible. The people here are going through a lot of what you are going through. Draw strength from these boards. I find I am here a little bit each day because the by the morning I still am blown away that I am in the twilight zone. When folks here tell you to read all you can about MLC, they are not just saying that. It is a must read for us to understand what is happening to make some sense out of this. That will give you strength too. We live in a day of if it hurts, somebody will fix it fast and most times it gets fixed fast. This is a long process. The detach part of this is a big challenge. It is the force field that will protect you along this journey. We both are resentful that we even have to go on a journey we did not sign up for and never knew existed. You are on a similar time frame with me on this journey. I can not imagine what it is like for you with a baby on the way and two D's at the age of my kids. If he tells you that he is going to see a L, then let him see an L. If you can stay calm and patient, your behavior will become confusion for him. I would not say anything like "Then go see a lawyer then I don't care" then he just might. You have to put down your weapons. Keep reading DB and DR SA says believe nothing of what they say and half of what he does. I have read that over and over on these boards and my IC has told me the same thing and I have witnessed it with my wife. Think it has sunk in with me yet? Nope, it still hurts, still makes my imagination run, and still gets me depressed. But looking back the picture starts to form that it is true especially about what they say. So it gets a little easier to digest the spew that comes out of them over time. What I keep seeing on these boards is can you outlast their MLC? Since you are on the timeframe I am, we both have a long way to go. Your Bomb is in within days of mine because it happened in the same month. There is no quick fix for him, but fixing ourselves is doable. I don't like hearing the fixing ourselves part either but I believe now that if you don't think there is anything to fix on yourself then you need more fixing than most anyone else. I don't want you to give up. If you give up, then it will be over and you may regret for the rest of your life. If you plow forward and keep strong, you will know you have done your best no matter what happens. There is so much strength in that alone, it will carry you forward and your D's will see that too.
