thanks for that reply

letter writing used to be BIG for us in the beginning and then it just tapered off - slowly at first and then nothing after a few years, we are both better writers than talkers

i wouldn't dream of giving him anything before i got everyone's approval! LOL

i have actually started a letter to my husband to give to him when i leave for california. lots of what you said, but i also want him to know where i stand. tired of this limbo land sort of thing ya know?

tell him again that i am here for him, get things off my chest about things i feel responsible for, but i am not willing to dwell on the past mistakes anymore, but i want to focus on our future and the solutions for us to have a better marriage

thanks for the help