Actually, Soup, I've only gotten "in trouble" twice in a year and a half, so don't think I'm doing so bad Interestingly, both times happened when I was trying to defend a male viewpoint - maybe I should quit sticking up for you guys?
Hyrum Smith, in a book called What Matters Most, talks about Perception Windows - the ways we choose to "frame" and view certain events in our lives. Mostly we don't realize we are looking through these windows, or that our "view" might change if we looked out a different window. People are usually unaware of the unconscious filters that are operating, and think their view of the world is the only one that exists. I think it's a concept that's useful to DBers, since the hardest and most uncomfortable thing most of us have had to do is challenge our perceptions of the events in our marriages. I guess that's what I was getting at yesterday about people who don't recover after their marriages fail - they are unable, or unwilling, to move past that first "how could my spouse do this terrible thing to me? They're so awful" window of perception.
I guess this also relates somewhat to your oft-mentioned concept of letting go of the self-cherishing mind?
