G - Listen to Pup. This is golden. Did you look into the divorce laws about divorcing while serving? Maybe you can still play that card without looking like you're playing hardball to her. Talk to a good attorney and find out what the laws are.
Other then that, like you said. Unfortunately, since you are not there to fight your own battle you might just have to let her go for now. But, dont do it to give into her addiction; do it because YOU WANT to.
