Ellie, would you mind elaborating on this a little bit in the Tips for Newcomers Thread. I was thinking about posting something alone the very same line.
Owning your own part in the situation is cruicial. For some, it may be as small as wishing that they had not been in denial about thier marraige being in trouble, and for many of us, it was much more. When you are really hurt and your self-esteem has taken major hits, it's not the easy thing to do--looking at what you wish you would have done differently in your M.
Painful as it was to face, I'm glad that both Michele's books and After the Affair forced me to think about that. I would have probably been a lot more punishing and less compassionate if I hadn't owned my part in things.
