Thanks for the info. Good advice, Ive been doing alot of things wrong on that list. I hope that hasnt made this thing to late. We talked on the phone last night for an hour and a half. I have not been able to keep her talking for that way in awhile. While it might sound like a good thing, it was all negative on her end. Unfortunately, she is in a mental place right now to where she views our whole 10 years together as negative. She actually brought up some things that happen 9 years ago before we got married. Why she finally acknowledged the good times she said the bad times is what she remembers and hurts from the most. She said she is just tried of “carrying” the relationship and she is worn out. Said she is 30 and feels 70. She said I should have had this “transformation” years ago. She talks about hurting for ten years and said that she has only hurt me the past year. She said shes been hurting a lot longer. She said “you just starting getting some of what Im going through and your already dying”. She said every man in her life has hurt her. Her dad, step dad, her 1st husband and now me. I basically just said the same things I have always said. I told her to try and look at the good, try and let the emotions and anger and frustration cool down some and then take a look at the 3 kids and see if that allows you to hold off on your decision to give up. She said she is not giving me an answer. I replied that’s ok at least it wasn’t “no”. I asked if she was keeping our Counseling apt on the 5th, she said as of right now yes. Before that I asked if she was still keeping true to going to counseling for 6 months, she said I don’t know. She is just very angry. She said again “ I love you but I’m not in love with you”. She said our counselor said he can show us how to fall in love again but I don’t believe him. She also said when I talk about the kids that pisses her off, because she takes it as I’m saying she doesn’t care about them or she is a bad mom. She said she was trying a few days ago but in the last few days it just hit her to quit, she said with all the talking it just pushed her over the edge and she is just tried of it. All the talking started when she said she was waffling on trying. Of course I panicked and try to control the process and start talking all the time. I see that now. I just prayed about it last night and turned it over to God. I guess my plan is to step back, not talk about it and give her space. That’s really hard. We are going to see a pastor today that I knew in my youth. She is not ready for church but I hope he can say something to just make things slow down. I asked him to speak a little about forgiveness. That’s something that she can’t do and it has got to happen at some point if we have a chance. I just want him to tell us something encouraging and just make divorce the last option. Unfortunately, her mom who she lives with believes that divorce is not a bad thing. Of course she has been divorced for 25 years and every relationship she has is awful. So my wife is not getting any positive advice. If anyone has got any more tips I would appreciate it.
