So last night I went out with a guy from work that has gone through this and reconciled with his W, but it took a long time (as you have all told me) and he wasn't really sure he wanted to get back in at first. Said he was having a good time being single. He had a lot of good advice, similar to what I am hearing here.
After starting at a little hole in the wall place, we went to blondie's bar, but she was already done for the day and gone. Had a couple drinks, ate dinner and went home.
Kids were having a sleepover and wanted me to build a fire, so I did. Mosquitoes were AWFUL, but the cutter managed to beat them back and they disappeared after a while.
D had gotten out 5 chairs, but there were 6 of us, so I went and got another one. Had to go to the garage for a cushion and when I came back, W was sitting in the chair with no cushion, right next to the one I had been in that had cushions. I said why are you in the chair with no cushion, while putting the cushion in her chair. She just said thanks.
Meanwhile, the kids are burning marshmallows and eating chocolate. They didn't want to bother with the graham crackers!
W and I didn't talk much, but when she would go in the house for a beer, she always brought me one too, which was nice of her.
Nothing too exciting, but just thought I would share. I would guess this is probably pretty typical.....
I consider a day where the situation doesn't hurt a victory. A day when you can look back and say "I acted like a man, I was strong, self-confident and taking care of myself." is a day that you can put in the bank to compensate for those days where it all seems to fall apart.
I did thank her, but I don't think I grinned. I gotta get more positive around her. I'm not sullen by any means, but I'm not usually joyous either. This weekend should be a good test since I am feeling ok about the current sitch.
I was just handed the biggest bonus check of my life and I should feel GREAT about it, but it really is bittersweet because I don't want to share the information with W. This was always the best time of the year with vacation coming up and having the $ to really have a good time. Now she is not going on vacation with us. I was also planning to put a nice patio on the back of the house and now this will be spent on a D instead. Makes me sick to even think about it.
