Sure you can. Consider nuns and monks; its about knowing yourself. Physical intimacy is a want not a need. Discard your wants and you can better understand yourself spiritually.
During the "hot wife / cuckold" thing you have had going on was there a time that you enjoyed it and that is why you allowed it to continue?
Why do you feel you needed to be sexually submissive and undermined by your wife?
Even if it was possible for her to change, your relationship dynamics to change, what would you do about the "history?"
