Quote: Ellie's remarks, taken in context, expressed concern about you... She was not abusive; she just disagrees with your pov. Ellie is very well aware of what rape is and does not need anyone to update her on it. And she did manage to save her marriage and rebuild her life. I cannot accept abusive language. Even from someone who has very obviously been sorely wounded by others in the past and present. *Optimist
Quote: To subject her to this criticism, when she is trying to offer help is unacceptable. *Dotto
I'm sorry ladies, but I have every right to come here and defend myself! Ellie's choice of words and remarks are in a context that can't be taken any other way than judgemental, ignorant and rude by the person they are directed to, or should I say ABOUT. If you have something to say ABOUT me, please be decent enough to address me - don't hide in a corner and gossip for God's sake. How incredibly rude and immature.
Obviously, Ellie does need to be updated on what rape is. Oh and my favorite: because SHE managed to save her marriage and rebuild her life... what? She's what? Entitled to accuse me of not being truthful; second guessing my statements; label me a screwed up victim? Get a grip!
Quote: ...it is just so hard to watch somebody head down a road that you know will lead to pain and suffering. ...didn't we all feel like self-righteous "victims" at the time? Wouldn't it have been SO easy to slip into bitterness, "my spouse cheated on me and I'm a victim" thinking? Successful DBers seem to reach that point where they can take responsibility for their own role in what happened in their marriages, and where they can feel compassion for their spouses, and start to put themselves in their spouse's shoes. *Ellie
Thank you SO much for caring Ellie. Give me a break. You KNOW that your words were ignorant to my sitch. No wonder you've received "threatening" emails in the past! People either love you or hate you. And believe me dear, it's not because you "shock people out of being the victim" - you have not done that to me... you shock people into utter disbelief that someone with such little knowledge of the facts has the GALL to prance around with such disregard for other's feelings. How dare you call me a victim. How dare you imply that I am heading down a painful road unless I take more responsibility. How dare you talk ABOUT me behind my back!
Let's just agree not to agree, shall we? Obviously we're not going to see eachother's POV's ... you see black while I see white. Actually, I do SEE your POV, however... it's just not accurate of the sitch and who my H and I are. Sorry, but you can't push me into the same category as your ex-H who needed prozac, and cheated on you. I love and respect my H way too much to ever stoop like that.
