Oh - forgot to mention - H and I were helping D13 clean and organize her room this weekend (it was a MESS! ). At one point she found a couple of old poems she wrote and gave them to us to read - one of them she wrote the day we found out about my H's affair. It was a really great poem about staying and working things out.
Also - a comment H made this weekend - after some thing came up that I commented on about how I felt about something during the "bomb" time. He said "It's like surviving a plane crash - who wants to go back and talk about it?" I guess that's really true of returned spouses - they just want to put the "plane crash" behind them and get on with their lives
). At one point she found a couple of old poems she wrote and gave them to us to read - one of them she wrote the day we found out about my H's affair. It was a really great poem about staying and working things out. 
