Long Distance Issues.....Possible WAW

[Dazed&Confused]

Thanks guys. It looks like I don't even need to worry about what to say anymore. She hit me up on Skype last night and told me that we needed to talk. So we did for the next few hours, but only the first hour or so were about us.

I stayed the course the best I could. I let her tell me about her feelings and what was going on with her. I wish I could say that I learned a lot. The only true thing I did learn is how much pain she is in. I never seen sadness in her eyes like I did last night. She said she wants to end our marriage as quickly and painlessly as possible. When I asked her what the hurry was, she said that her feelings could not be changed, and that she did not want to hate me after this. I told her that I would come home, that we could work on it together, and she said that she didn't want to anymore. She said that if I needed to come home, she more than understood, but she was still going forward with this. How do you argue with that? I couldn't!

She went on talk about what she wanted out of the divorce, and she said that her number one wish was for me to be in our kids lives. I told her if she truly felt that way, that she would give me shared physical custody. To truely give up the same things I would be, and give me a real chance to be a real Dad. She said that she wouldn't want it any other way. We talked about what happens if I have to move, everything. She was accomodating in everything. So I was torn in my feelings after this, if she is so unhappy that she would give me all of this, what can i do to make her stay? She is giving up what I fear the most in losing, just for chance at happiness. It makes me so sad that I got so complacent in my relationship. It breaks my heart that she is feeling this way. So right now, the only thing i can do is give her what she wants most. And most of all, I can make her happy one last time.

My biggest fear about divorce is becoming an every other weekend Dad. If I can avoid this and my wife and I can settle everything between ourselves, why should I not let her go? I think I have to. She pretty much said that she was going to talk to a lawyer anyways. I might as well keep it friendly and keep my kids. It is going to make my life over here hard for some time, but thoughts of my kids will keep me strong.

It is time for me to continue moving forward. To better myself, so I am that strong man my kids will need when I get home.