I need to go waaayyyyy dark. I started thinking, I feel my W used email insterad of text asking about AA, anger classes and all the above to build some kind of legal basis against me for court, I am being played like a fiddle. I am going to go darker than before, lay out the finances and tell her what her part is. I have this funny feeling she might have talked to L who probably told her to document anything I would admit to. Funny thing is S will tell whoever asks him that mommy tells him these things, and not his observations. God I am really worked up right now, I want to blow through a wall.
Well it's a good thing I mentioned previously to stop emailing details of any of these things via email or text.
Don't mind read, right now all you are doing is speculating, it doesn't hurt to cover all bases.
And most important.... no blowing through walls. They are innocent throughout all of this, leave those walls alone!
I got home, W was itching to talk to me. Got the kids in bed, and she started talking about what got me upset earlier. I told her it is disrespectful to discuss what issues I am having with S. I also told her if you want to know about my sessions or Dr. Don't ask me via email or text do it in person. She said its easier for her while at work to do it that way but said she understood.
She also said she feels I am more truthful when I write than when I speak. I am feeling small, her points r valid but I'm going to put my guard up a bit. I mentioned I read that sandra is considering taking jesse james back, u think he db'd? when I said that the W says "you. Make it sound like she shouldn't. I said "huh,what? She said you and I have changed our minds back and forth. I said oh, ya I guess.
So talks were good tonight, I was firm and being a manly man not even close to melty. Set some boundaries and told W I was going to contact S's therapist so I know how its going for him.
So back to work on me. Oh I almost forgot told the W that I'm not an alcoholic and that a lot of my issues are stress based, confirmed by therapist and my Dr who both believe my stress is what is pushing me over the edge. So I feel I took the wind out of that sail for now.
When your wife is at work, she should be focusing on work. Regardless if her points are valid, you can agree that she feels that way but you don't feel comfortable expressing the details of what you're going through via text or email, it's a very personal thing that you're going through and you don't need to email out copies of your thoughts, feelings, personal development, etc. That's your personal boundary and you're allowed it, regardless of her points and their validity. Those items are part of your personal life, she has expressed the need to separate from you, she can't have the insider's view of your personal life and still want to separate from you, how does that make sense?
You are allowed privacy and emailing her the details of your counseling, AA meetings, anger mgmt, etc. exposes that privacy and right now everyone needs to respect your privacy.
Before I came to bed I was on my crackberry returning emails amd the W was very curious and asked who are you writing so much to, I said just returning emails.
There are several users on these forums that complained that their spouses were on their crackberries constantly texting/emailing and then later confirmed that their spouses were in fact communicating with someone they were having an affair with.
In this day & age, the mobile phone is a personal communication device that allows you to communicate with people a lot more than was ever possible.
Her asking you who you were writing so much too was possibly her thinking the same thing.
She had an affair previously, she may have been texting/emailing her affair partner quite a bit, she remembers what she did during that time and see's similarities between what she was doing and what you are doing, the gears in her head start turning and she starts imagining that you might possibly have someone else on the side. You don't but she doesn't know that. It's good to be mysterious, it's attractive, people are curious by nature (you know that part) and I'm sure she's wondering who the heck you are communicating with.
BTW - those old spice commercials rock, EXPLOSIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
U crack me up, yes as much as she pretends "to have it together" when I went out and when I am a bit mysterious her jealous side shows.
So now you know she's testing you, and now you know she has a jealous side when it comes to you which is impressive for someone who wants to leave you.
And yes I'm a smart a$$ and I wouldn't change it for the world. Life's too short not to have fun.
So you backslid a bit but you also did a few things correctly so all in all it's a good learning experience so far. More days like this will come, some will be easier, some will be harder, it's ok though, you can handle it.
when I said that the W says "you. Make it sound like she shouldn't. I said "huh,what? She said you and I have changed our minds back and forth. I said oh, ya I guess.