Hi gag- I want to share some of my experience to help you understand that you must have no expectations here...
My H started to reconnect with me about maybe a year or so post-bomb. We would spend time together going to dinner, the movies, going out with friends, etc...we even went to counseling! We got along great most of the time because I accepted everything on his terms. For over a year we dated, he even brought a lot of his clothes to my house and we talked about him moving back by the end of last year. When it came time, he couldn't do it. I told him I couldn't go back to the way things were and he left. Six weeks later, he contacted me and told me that he missed me, that I was his best friend and that he wanted to move back. I was thrilled but the very next day, I could feel him backing away. I gave it 3 more months but nothing changed, he still couldn't move back and recommit to the marriage. I lost all of my patience and told him I wanted a divorce. My H is an attorney so he processed and filed the divorce paper at my request. It should be final in December.
The crazy thing is that I know my H still loves me and wants to be with me. I was told by our friend that he still has our wedding picture up in his office. He told me he misses me, I know he is still attracted to me and he admits we have always been good friends. I know in his mind that we are not done BUT he can not for whatever reason let himself completely come back to the relationship yet. I don't know if he ever will and I decided I'm not happy living my life on his terms.
I am only telling you this so you will not have any expectations. I couldn't help myself. It sounds to me like you are looking for the clues to where your XH is at in all of this...I can tell you first hand not to even bother trying. If you can just enjoy his company for now, accept what he has to give and be patient for anything else, you may build a new relationship with your XH.
Who knows what the future has in store for any of us. I think the key here is to live your life and be happy. If you can do that and only that for now, maybe everything else will fall into place.
So is it too late for me to join the cocktail party???
