WAH and LBW separated and dark

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maybe that's a 180 that i need to work on.
i realize that i am competitive. squash, trivia, word games, you name it.
it got boring and overwhelming for him because i always came out the winner.
geez, is that why he looked at me and said "oh i can see the gears grinding in your head. you just want to win"?

despite being so competitive, i did not compete for his affections.
i tried to compete for his attention but i kept losing that battle. it frustrated me. but still, i didn't call it quits. i would have kept trying.
i always trusted him. i never accused him of being with someone else.
if someone wanted him and he took the bait, then he can go. i wasn't going to fight for someone who wanted to be with someone else.

Were you a gracious winner?

i need to learn how to validate.
one of the things i have to keep in mind is that my h tends to bite the hand that feeds him. for example, he'll go off on me about something small. and then later, he'll be asking me for help on something and expecting me to forget that he just tore into me on something silly. this can trigger my anger.
i know you think this is mind reading but i've witnessed this a few times. but i can see him being adamant on being entitled to a portion of my jewellery. and then he'll turn around and ask me not to lay claim on his baseball collection. it's like .. you can't have it both ways. it's a concept he never understood. and i don't know how to get that through to him. i lead by example and not with words. how do i lead by example on that?

Grow up. This is petty stuff. You are stuck in petty. You and your H don't even talk anymore and yet...here you are...fretting about jewelry and baseball cards. Time. To. Move. On.

Seems to me ... he is done. You seem waiting for a sign that is not so. Start another thread and ask another vet to weigh in, but you'll get the same sort of feedback. He's washing his hands of the marriage. Who knows why? Maybe him. Maybe his mother. You do not know, and he's not sharing.

Girl, here is the question: HOW MUCH MORE OF YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE ARE YOU WILLING TO TRADE - HOW MUCH TIME - FOR THIS CHEESELESS TUNNEL? These are YOUR minutes. And you are trading them to wait for a husband who chose an alternate path in HIS life. HE has moved ON. You? Are still pissed and pondering and sitting still. How long will you do this?
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