Trying to understand our WAS is so natural, yet so difficult. They don't really know why they're acting the way they do, they only know what they feel. FEEL. They try and rationalize, just as the LBS does, about the past, about the present, about everything, And in the end, it's just wasted neurons.
You're much better off trying to understand yourself, understand your needs, desires, and boundaries. See how they fit into your actions, and when your actions differ from them, try to figure out why.
Then accept yourself.
Once you do, once you love yourself, you'll be able to really love and accept love.
