I used to be a big history buff; learned more about war and conflict than I ever thought possible. Was pretty cynical about human nature, and lost a lot of my faith when my niece was murdered in 2005. Yet every day when I come to this forum, with my heart feeling heavy, I appreciate the compassion I see from so many people.
LSG- you can do this. You're tough enough. You're a loving father. God loves us, and wants us to be happy. He will never give you more than you can carry; though you may not realize your own strength.