being adamant on being entitled to a portion of my jewellery. and then he'll turn around and ask me not to lay claim on his baseball collection. it's like .. you can't have it both ways. it's a concept he never understood. and i don't know how to get that through to him. i lead by example and not with words. how do i lead by example on that? this is the part of the discussion that i fear. it nearly killed me the first time and to relive it? how would i change things? that's the question.
This is a boundary issue. You have to make it clear that, "H, I need to keep the things that were given to me during the marriage. I feel gifts are something that are not returned, and this is part of who I am. I can see that you feel differently and I'm sorry that we don't see eye-to-eye on that point."
People need to get the message over and over and over sometimes--I need this, I feel this way, I am this person.
Start to express who you are and you won't have so much misunderstanding. You can stand firm on this and have compassion at the same time. Have a lot of regret in your voice--you truly are SORRY that he feels this way, but this is who you are--a person that does not Indian give or whatever that term is.
