Setting them free

[steady]

.... That's why you have a L, Gucci calls it "having your ducks in a row." Seperation/Divorce agreements have some very specific language about time your children can spend with other adults. Break a judges order and see how that works for you.

A WAS and their L know how to prey on your "feelings." A good DBer will check their emotions/feelings at the door (detach), use their brain and combat their WAS feelings with feelings(Coach is that a typo?). You can't apply your logic to someone else's feelings and expect it to influence them. You change how they feel about you.(Same thing here coach?)

Let me tell you the mistake I almost made. When my W first said she didn't want to try and she wanted a D I nearly folded. I almost just agreed to what she wanted due to my ignorance of how I thought custody, child support, etc... worked. I saw a lawyer. Everything changed.

He would tell me, "Think with your head and not your heart." That was a foreign concept to me in this sitch but I eventually wrapped my head around it. That made all the difference. I separated the legal stuff from everything else. I decided to play hard ball legally, but not let that spill over to the rest of my life.

I was told by some people here, leave your W out of the decision making process. Don't make legal decisions based on anything to do with how it will affect her. She is the opponent and we obviously have opposite and competing interests. You are in the same boat.

Get a good lawyer and fight.

How much control does any of of us have over another person? You can take lots of productive action for yourself and your family. Protect your finances and emotional well-being. Know your legal rights. Use your spiritual side. Be loving to yourself, kids, family and your WAS. Be a person of high character, values and morals. Set personal, legal, moral boundaries and enforce them. Become the best person you can in a tough enviroment - thrive.

I think fear is the biggest enemy of any DBer. The solution is to "love yourself." All the DB techniques and good advice here boils down to that concept. It's very attractive as well. How confident do you look when you accept that you are already dead (divorced)? It's not that you don't want to survive but that you accept that you don't control the outcome but will do whatever the situation calls for without hesitation. You have to be prepared - understand how the game is played and know what works given the situation. Do you want to go up against a prepared, disciplined, able, strong, and determined opponent? Who would you follow? Lead your family.

Strength and Honor

This is why I love Coach so much. He always hits the mark. :-)