I agreed to it. Completely guilty of that. Changed my mind when I felt pushed out of my marriage. She claims she wasnt doing that, butit was my jealousy that made me unattractive to her. So here we are...me no longer wanting to share her and her wanting me to give her freedom to choose who and what she does. Its a really dark dark place for me to be sitting. Half of me wants to give up and just let her go be free, the other half wants to stay and fight for what I deserve. She isnt my property though, so do I really deserve her?
Your wife is a freakin' WAW GENIUS! Look it ~ she got you to marry her (companionship, financial support, family facade, hearth and home)and stay married to her while agreeing to leave the door open to do other men when they "flung a craving on her" (southern expression). The genius is she got you to AGREE to that - damn, son - she could sell ice to an Eskimo! So now, when your civilized brain finally makes contact with your daily reality, you SEE that this was an incorrect agreement you entered into...AND YET...she is such a master mind that she has you convinced you can't CHANGE YOUR MIND, FIND YOUR BALLS AND TELL HER "it's ME or THEM" without wondering if you should!
If you want any chance at all of spending the rest of your life with this woman in a committed, monogamous marriage (redundant), then you have to be a Man about it. You say, "W, I made a mistake allowing you to construct an open marriage for us. It's been good for neither you nor I. I have allowed you to dishonor yourself and me, but no longer. You will either commit to therapy for us to heal this gaping wound, or I will divorce you. That is what it will take going forward. This is the shot I'm calling." And if she can't come up with a marriage saving answer, I would walk, buddy, and not look back. You have VALUE!
Don't answer this here - but think about it this way: what if your son's wife asked him to live in the kind of marriage you have had...and he asked you for advice. You would say? Or, what if your daughter wanted to be the kind of wife yours has been? You would tell her?
Greek
I kinda wish my father had had some advice for me in this sort of situations. It would ease my mind greatly.
