I do not understand what is perventing me from doing just that.
Fear.
Fear of the truth or fear of being alone or fear of losing at least half of my kids life?
WHich really is the thing I fear the most. I ended my first marriage because it was pretty awful. And I lost out on the details of my kids lives. Sure I saw them as often as I could but all those little things you get from hanging out with your kids ...gone.
