H chose to leave the marriage to pursue a relationship with a co-worker.
The day after my H dropped the bomb he told anybody and everybody that would listen that he and I had split up as a joint and amicable decision. This was all done before I even knew what was happening. But when people did start to come to me and ask I said exactly what I stated above and nothing more.
Romeo, it seems you still have expectations that your W will start to be a new and better person. If she feels entitled to the support she won't be thanking you. I have never and will never thank my H for his spousal support. The first check he gave me one week after our legal separation was finalized he came over to hand it to me. He stood there waiting for a thank you and he never got one. His spousal support, in my eyes, is simply a repayment for the 13 year investment of my valuable time I made in him, our marriage and the multiple career opportunities I turned down at his request. It is also repayment for the joint funds he spent on OW during our marriage.
The judge said something so poignant when our case was active. She said when one chooses to make very adult decisions they always come with either very adult responsibilities or very adult consequences. Eventually you will have to let your W either feel the consequences or the responsibility. Right now she has the luxury of neither.
My thread is buried somewhere but a quick recap of this week:
Have not talked to H since he texted me on what should have been our 11 year wedding anniversary (06/26). He started texting me on Monday very angry that I am ignoring him, not communicating with him, shutting him out or providing him with security.
Y'day he sent an e-mail that despite his declaration of not being "nasty" or threatening that basically said if I file for the divorce he will do all he can do to make sure I pay for it. LOL! He also rambled on about all his unexpected expenses (I have a gut feeling they are either "fun" things or OW is pregnant).
He has been living with OW since April and in a very vested R with her for almost three years. He petitioned the court to force me to stay separated from him until 2012 and the verdict was no, 2010 is all I am legally obligated to do.
Nov. 19th is the earliest I can file which I plan to do along with asking for a substantial increase in support. He wanted to ensure no commitment to OW due to his legal marriage for a few more years. Can't grant him that wish!
