Well, its my life (and yours) and I dont game with my life.
They know they can fall back on us, and it gives them security to do what they do. There is more passion in it for them as well, because they are getting away with something they aren't supposed to. Then when they know you know and they still do. They feel like "King Ding-a-ling" with the spouse pining for them at home and the guy(s) on the side.
Yup. I think this exactly. My problem is, I foolishly consent to all this.
The game she played with you, is alot of the things she used to do for or perform for you or levels of respect and confidentiality, each have been removed or reduced. Kinda like a poker game or a form of bartering.
Yeah, I have slowly watched things be dialed down. She has told me her desire for me has waned so I couldnt ask for much of anything from her other then the basics. And I needed to be okay with that.
All the while watching her give those things to him. It was so destructive for my self confidence you cannot imagine.
They figure, well he will TAKE this much and he's still there. Pretty much they remove it down to almost nothing. What do they call them, "crumbs"?
yup
I heard of us being analogous to a dog, in that we will take the food thats given to us, blindly loyal.
"Food" for us is affection, positive conversation, spending time with, physical and verbal affirmations. It takes time.
Oh yes. Its what we fight about, she believes she gives me plenty of affection and that IM a bottomless pit. I just dont see it. I havent been seriously kissed by this woman in years. Me asking to have some nightly face time became a game, because she says its too much time to give to one person..She would be happy, thrilled if I went out all the time, and even if I took lovers of my own. I smply do not get this.
Check out QuickSilver264 posts. I was telling him, hell its pretty much effectively over - he may as well join the party.
Start his own party and end up around her circles after he's built up enough momentum. To show her what she's doing IS NOT SPECIAL.
I could easily go out tomorrow and have a ball. Its not about who I am as a man. I am a damn good looking fellow who has had plenty of opportunities (which I turn down). Its not the point. IM a married man, who loves his wife. And thats who I am.
Theres alot of good people to listen to here, without resources like this I could have literally lost my mind.
Now that my mind is not trying to rationalize lies or make up excuses for her, I just get mad or depressed and many days I'm not caring, because I'm getting past that point.
Im actually starting to feel very crazy. I keep working through my head that somehow I have done something wrong. Something horribly wrong to drive my wife away. I just cant figure out what it is so I can stop.
I still try to rationalize all this, but Im coming up short. So, Im trying this now with you guys hoping there are some stones I have left unturned.
