You know, these situations ebb and flow over time, and I can't believe I've been on here for a year and half, with over 800 posts, the vast majority of which are on my own thread. There have been times when my sitch was fairly stagnant, and I came by now and again to journal, with no real pressing need for significant advice.

You folks here can tell I'm at a CRUCIAL juncture now, as can I, and you're all out in force trying to help. I just want to say I appreciate it.

Quote:

I am going to be straight with you. YOU havent tried everything. You havent been able to set her free. You havent really dated yet. Neither you nor your wife know what it is like to be on the other side of the fence you are standing on.


You are DEAD ON right with this. There was a period around Feb-March of this year where I was ALMOST there, but not quite. Even the dating I did, the women I was with could tell I wasn't quite available. Drove my friends nuts. They would say "Why are you holding back?!" Because deep down I wanted my W and family back.

Quote:

I have read all her dialog you typed out and I can related to your wife. I wish I could explain it better to you than its just something that happens to some people sometime in their life. Or to quote what your wife is saying to you, "I feel trapped and I don't like it," "I just want to be able to go out and have fun," I want to hike.

Those are true, real feelings. They are confusing but at the same time they are exhilarating. My doctor says my hormone levels are normal for a person my age. Personally, I don't know where they came from or where they are going. I say don't try to reason with it or rationalize it because honestly for myself, I can't. I just want to know myself.

I think I can describe it to you. Have you ever had a desire to feel weightless? To just float? Like a bird gliding through the air or how a fish races through water as if there is no resistance? Freedom to express yourself and to learn.


I am trying to understand, and I am trying to show her a path where she can have that and her family, but it seems like the more I try to accommodate her, the farther away she goes. Definitely the whole "pleaser/fixer" thing, as Puppy describes.