Here are ideas I've played with on how to respond:
"I've thought about what you said before you left. I've decided it won't work for me. I'm not willing to live in an open marriage while you date other men. From my point of view our reconciliation has failed, and I need to end this marriage. Will you join me at <mediator's> office to get our legal agreement wrapped up? No more anger or resentment, let's just see if we can work out the final details. We were almost there last year. I won't agree to anything less than 50/50 custody though, so if that's going to be an issue, we might as well not waste our time. The court will have to decide that one."
A while back you sent her some note and it back fired on you. My advice to you back then was NOT to say anything and start dating. Well my fellow flip-flopper, THAT was handled to you on a silver platter. Why are you still trying to talk and reason with her? If you haven't noticed it doesnt work.
I'm a little disappointed nobody has pointed out the famous line:
Quote:
I have heard many people say "I don't want to look back and say that I didn't try everything"
I am going to be straight with you. YOU havent tried everything. You havent been able to set her free. You havent really dated yet. Neither you nor your wife know what it is like to be on the other side of the fence you are standing on. The grass is greener. Or as Jimmy Pop put it, "The lap dance is better when the stripper is crying."
I'm getting ahead of myself.
I have read all her dialog you typed out and I can related to your wife. I wish I could explain it better to you than its just something that happens to some people sometime in their life. Or to quote what your wife is saying to you, "I feel trapped and I don't like it," "I just want to be able to go out and have fun," I want to hike.
Those are true, real feelings. They are confusing but at the same time they are exhilarating. My doctor says my hormone levels are normal for a person my age. Personally, I don't know where they came from or where they are going. I say don't try to reason with it or rationalize it because honestly for myself, I can't. I just want to know myself.
I think I can describe it to you. Have you ever had a desire to feel weightless? To just float? Like a bird gliding through the air or how a fish races through water as if there is no resistance? Freedom to express yourself and to learn.
Or maybe your wife is totally different and I did a terrible job trying to help you. Point is, quit spinning your wheels, man. Life is really really short.
