Another story of a WH and an LBS

[Babydoll]

And the road to reconciliation is going to be rough-be prepared to get that reaction from others

Very True! But gatsby, you are strong enough to make it work and give it all you've got... dont let anyone take that hope away from you, if that is what you want! When i was give the bomb, i remember i told H, i think we have what it takes to fight for us and to make it... it is no one else's business, just be strong enough to hear it from people... No one understands or knows how you feel, or what you went through except for you! and no one understands that you do what it takes when you feel in your heart its the right thing to do, because to the rest of the world, divorce is easier, and in fact its very true, but this is your life and your decision!
Dont let anyone get you down... i know the feeling... makes me feel sick to my stomach and i start thinking which is really dangerous! hahaha

[Babydoll]

G, i read happiest baby on the block too! hahaha

Piano, dont stop giving advice! We all need you... regardless of how our sitches turn out to be! That's what friends are for!

Wow, 7/28 is a big day... NM and G's wedding anniversary and my H's bday! Glad to see you both survived it!!!

[Piano]

Hey there, haven't gone anywhere, following along!
Re baby sleeping, I need desperately to get mine into a routine. I borrowed a DVD from the the maternal health library on just that, and hope to have time to read it soon. Basically though I was told, bub has sleep patters of 45mins, if she wakes up feed her then have play time and then put her to bed..a 2-3hr cyle all up. Does that sound about right to you gals?

As for possible reconciliation with WH, I completely agree it is your life G, and it will be hard for others to understand why you would be open to taking him back, but they will understand it time if it happens and if it's working for you. And we MORE than understand here on this forum!
Maybe don't tell them too much to fast... give them time?

[newmama]

Basically though I was told, bub has sleep patters of 45mins, if she wakes up feed her then have play time and then put her to bed..a 2-3hr cyle all up. Does that sound about right to you gals?

Well, yes, this is pretty much the deal...what I finally learned with babies, from reading, was that S could only be awake for 2-2.5 hours at a time for many months. So it helped me to determine the source of his crying. (Now it is for 3.5-4.5 hours at a time)

And by 3-4 months, his sleep patterns became like clock work. Woke at 6, nursed, went back to sleep at 8. woke up at 8:45, nursed, played, back to sleep at 11. Woke up at 11:30, nursed, played, back to sleep at 1. etc.
He slept 5x per day! Of course this was just my baby (they are allll different as they say! )

I really had to rely on the clock, personally, to inform me as to whether he was hungry or tired! Thank goodness that I started to figure it out on my own without the clock, but I still use it to help when I am baffled as to why he is fussing!

[gatsby11]

NM- what a coincidence about the 28th! (and BD, too.) I hope the day passed you by well; I didn't notice much mention of it on your page. (I didn't see anything at all, but I might have skipped a page by accident.)

I'm glad my WH and I didn't have to have any awkwardness about the day. Thanks to no cell coverage out in the boonies in Colorado!

Thanks for your support

[gatsby11]

Thanks BD... we've got all the baby books covered between the two of us! Right now I read a sleeping book by the Sleep Lady.

All she recommends for between 6-8 weeks is that at least once a day you let the baby go to sleep on his/her own. Even if it's just one nap. So you get him/her to a drowsy state (to a place, she says, where it will take 5 minutes or a little longer for the baby to fall alseep) and then you put him/her in a dark, quiet place and then walk away. Repeat as needed. It happened accidentally for me yesterday. Today I had to work a little more for it.

And yes, P, that pattern sounds right! At least according to the Baby Whisperer. Eat, Activity, Sleep. over and over, bout 3 hour cycles.

WH stuff: And P again, yes I'm trying to go slow with them. The tricky thing is once when I had two friends over who were my fierce 'defenders' against WH, WH came over with pizza! So it was really awkward. I felt awful about the awkwardness. And then I met with another coworker yesterday and he had heard about the incident... sigh.

NM, you're paving the way for the 3 of us with the baby info! I'm so glad to hear of the clockwork at 3 months. That's what I'm really rooting for.

Little girl and I share a room, and they recommend weaning away from the cosleeper and into a crib in a separate room around 3 months. (It's apparently the best time.) So I'm not sure what to do about that-- use the living room as her room at night, get a 'room divider' for us, or just not worry about it. My lease is up in Sept, but I'm planning on renewing for another 8 months or so... this place is getting a bit small! So... personal stories about this issue are welcome!

K, time to go to sleep. Well, I'll probably round the threads first, but ya know.

[gatsby11]

It's morning!

I also am reading a relationship book. Yay me.

So far it's been talking about how you marry your "unfinished business" with a parent. You marry someone who was enough like that parent that you can make the subconscious connection, but different enough that you think you can fix the problem this time around.

I can kind of see that in my sitch.

Just interesting stuff.

[Babydoll]

What's the book? I wonder if any DBers that have reconciled their Ms suggest any reading material?

[gatsby11]

Hey, I got a book called The New Rules of Marriage. It's been interesting.

WH gets back tomorrow and I'm not sure if I want him to see it... I'll probably hide it!

[newmama]

About your WH and your friends who were 'fierce defenders': I am just validating that you know best and stick to your laurels...the sad thing is that my stbxSIL has said she has lost friends since she has R'd with her H, but she was saving her family which was more valuable to her. And I highly suspect her friends will come around! (it has been less than a year since they R'd)

Little girl and I share a room, and they recommend weaning away from the cosleeper and into a crib in a separate room around 3 months. (It's apparently the best time.) So I'm not sure what to do about that-- use the living room as her room at night, get a 'room divider' for us, or just not worry about it. My lease is up in Sept, but I'm planning on renewing for another 8 months or so... this place is getting a bit small! So... personal stories about this issue are welcome!

Again, I wanted to do everything I read, too, (seriously! I AM a teacher like you,Gatsby and you know how research oriented we can be,lol!) BUT what ended up happening FOR ME was that
1) I knew my goal was to not co-sleep past 3-4 months
2) I co-slept past 3-4 months
3) I felt guilty about it
4) I knew I wouldn't do it forever
5) Around 5-6 months I started putting S in his crib for the first part of the night and he was able to put himself to sleep for naps during the day
6) By 7-8 months, it got to the point where I really craved a restful night's sleep and I forced myself to put him in his crib...the whole night
7) I tried "cry it out" and hated it...tried it for 20 minutes max for 2 nights, lol!
8) I rocked him to sleep at first
9) By 8 months, I was able to just lay him in his crib, with this fabulous crib mobile (that stbxh purchased) and he put himself to sleep

And by the end, I realized that I trusted my instincts, and that it all worked out!! I recommend everyone doing the same!