I was really hoping for some advise but Im seeing the trend from everyone here.
You are getting (free) advice. The advice is resoundingly telling you to respect yourself more and not tollerate open disrespect anymore. If the marriage ends because you cannot get the kind of commitment you'd find in... say a... marriage, then be prepared to walk away.
She knows she can push you around, and she has done so for years, so the prospects aren't good.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-