Im hoping that you guys can give me some direction other then toss the bitch out.
OK, how about you sit her down, and say "I know I told you I was okay with this lifestyle, butI have changed my mind. I want to be married to you, in every full sense of the word, including being monogamous with each other. This was a horrible, horrible mistake, and now our kids, unfortunately, are going to pay the price if we can't work this out in a way that works for both of us.
I have decided that, moving forward, monogamy is, for me, a dealbreaker. Will you join me, end the swinging, and go to marriage counseling with me maybe with someone who specializes in this area, and give it some length of time -- maybe six months, or a year -- and see if we can work this out? For the sake of our shared history together, and for the kids?"
Then I guess you'll at least have your answer.
I do see the challenge here, and that is -- as Serenity correctly pointed out above -- you DID mostly sign on for this lifestyle. And now you're changing your mind. It seems to me that you need to ACKNOWLEDGE that, the curveball you've thrown her, and at least SEE if she'll work at a monogamous marriage together with you.
