Agree with Robx. Let her go. If this is not who you are, in good conscience, then you have no other choice.
Puppy
The thing is, if I can just shut up and not try to smooth this over she doesnt want to divorce.
Its my actions right now in trying to rekindle our romance is causing the chaos. She has givn up the boyfriend and says she will do the monogamy thing, but her need to grieve and mourn that relationship is putting an anchor on ours.
Each way I have approached this (I have tried standing back, confrontation, talking, waiting for her to approach me) ends up with her retaining solid control of what is going on.
I get her need to grieve and am trying to stay out of the way for that. But I need to re engage our relationship at some point. I think that is fair. But she really truly believes she is poly and had a long term emotional relationship with him.
Again, I know everyone is going to say dump her. I already get that message, but I came here hoping for someone to give me some tips in how to hang in there and see if this terrible storm will pass.
Dumping her, easy. Staying...hardest thing in my life.
