See, the thing is with certain kind of people (and your W is certainly one of "those kinds") no amount of doing the right thing will matter. Entitled and self indulgent people who operate from a very different standard of morals will not change without a desire to change.
Unless it is 110% necessary to communicate about your child your W should be firmly planted outside the loop of your life. In the future any information regarding business will be presented to her via your legal counsel and if your legal counsel is not hardcore then get a new attny. Waiting more than 12-24 hours for a response from your attny about insurance is unacceptable on EVERY level and simply gives her more time to remain the same. It is time to hand this matter over to an expert that will make your case a priority under any circumstance. Time is money and you have shelled out plenty.
To be honest, the probability of her being shaken into "decent" by a hardcore attny is very low. My H is and was the same way but at least she will be out of your hair for good aside from co-parenting.
As my counselor said these types of people are terribly boring as they are so predictable. There is not good reason a man who is in his early 30's should be forking over such a large amount of money to a woman also in her 30's simply because she decided she was no longer in love and able to honor the commitment she made. Temporary orders are just that and while it is her choice to not use temporary support as a means to be able to stand on her own two feet it's not your problem. If you are paying for the bulk of your child's needs then full custody (or a petition for such) is in order. Orange County is not an area of the country where you can be single, raise a child and earn minimum wage. Her days of enjoying you as a "high earner" should be very numbered.
And when it comes down to it that is all a divorce is... numbers.
As far as dating goes it's a fine line, no? It's hard to see when you are "in it" but IMO you offered WAY too much of an explanation via text to the dinner/movie girl. Saying you are "uncomfortable" is strange when trying to arrange for a night out (or in). Less talking when it comes to dating when you are ready. If it's not happening in an organic fashion then it's not right IMO.
My husband is also a high earner. Don't think for a minute his mistress wasn't well aware of his current income and future earning potential. Throw a divorce in there and people tend to go from wanting to "blow of steam" to wanting something more. Dating should be sexy and mysterious and have NOTHING to do with blowing off steam! That comment should be a HUGE red flag!
