nnp - well, that is why there has to be a change NOW. Seeing his stuff outside was apparently the wake up call that let him know how serious and at the end I am/was. i don't want to spend more days, weeks, months or years putting an ounce more energy into a deadend relationship (he needs to convince me that this isn't because it is looking that way). There is potential somewhere deep down within him - and he needs to pull it out of his a$$ just about yesterday.
I can assure everyone here of this - I'm not going back, acting like everything is fine, going back to old ways. No. Hell no. No way in hell. There is a lot on him right now and if he doesn't start climbing the ladder quickly, he's going to backing up that moving truck even faster.
Barb(sun) - he didn't really shut the door. i put his stuff out (with the deep down thought/intention of an ultimatum). he moved stuff out of the attic into other areas of the house, but didn't actually leave and when probed (i just used that word for a laugh, but really) - that's when he said he wanted to stay....
so, like i said, who knows, in the midst of this storm. don't know what is going to be left after it's over. but storms don't last forever, they start clearing......
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
