I want to be part of the group...

[Jstar]

gm,

thank you for you input.

to answer some of the questions let me begin with h's status:

his entire family jumped the usa/mexico border some years ago, i am not exactly sure what their status is since i have no way of verifying the information and can not take h's word.

he has to ssn's he uses which ihave copies along with his employers info/wage earning statements., i do know he is not legally allowed to work in the usa, but the feds don't enforcce and he by passed everify. his employers are aware he's not a documented worker and still let it go.

what you are talking about is what i argue with myself on an hourly basis. whether to just cut losses, file with the court, set up his visitation and let him fail at it, since i know he will. he will do ok for a little bit then get lazy.

i stupidly hold hope for him to grow up, be responsible and not rely on the hustle for life, nothing iw ant my children to learn, he has claimed so many times to hate the usa, don't care about the laws, that he's gonna do what he wants to do.

i think he loves the kids but not as what i believe he should, but he loves himself more and has not been able to sacrifice himself for their greater good.

most posts that i get say file with the court. i wish there could be discussions between he and i but he thinks i'm a member of his gang for him to bark orders at.

i asked myself this question: is the only reason why i want my marriage so i can have a car and childcare? do i have to be married to him to have that, no, but financially i can not pay for the mortgage, utilities, food and pets plus daycare.

phone been disconnected, no cable, internet i use free wi fi. on my own i can not have a car pay for the gas, and insurance. when i think of h it's hard not to thing of all his character flaws.
the eap lawyer said his legal status does not negate his fatherhood and visitation, that i'd put in court orders no passports are to be issued, if they are i am the holder of such passports,