.... The only other things I could think of was "standing up for myself (at work and with her). 'No More Mr Nice Guy' is helping me understand that one. Plain as the nose on my face- THAT was a problem. Fear of conflict; not asking for what I wanted in the R; no boundaries; doormat; passive/aggressive 'contracts'; sexual repression. All of it. Frikkin textbook.
You just described me to a T. There have been a few books I've recently read and will re-read again that I found very helpful in these areas. They are all about being authentic and not 'hiding' your true self - which I found has been the root problem for all the behaviors you've written above - all of which I found in myself.
The Brad Blanton book is hardcore. The Susan Campbell book is a lighter version of Blantons (she worked with him for a while) and I found that one a little more suited to where I'm at. I found Undefended Love very good also.
