Too Late For Us?

[mrbt]

Update.

After catching wife with OM I went out of town for work. While I was away, wife took a $2,500 cash advance from an old credit card (one we have not used in years). The card is in her name but, since I pay the bills, my e-mail address was registered with the card. I received a fraud alert e-mail and then called wife to ask if she had used the card. She was caught off guard by the question, got angry and refused to talk. About an hour later she sent a text saying that she borrowed money to loan to her brother. We had discussed loaning money to her brother just a few days ago - I didn't think it was a good idea. She said she still had the money and we could talk about it when I got home.

When. I got home and raised the topic she responded with anger once again. This made me suspicious so I started checking into things. I check the credit card statement online and pulled a copy of the credit report. I discovered that she had a new secret phone, a secret PO box address, and a loan for $2,500 from the credit union (applied for the day after the credit card cash advance).

Apparently, her plan was to pay the credit card with the loan, tell me it was all taken care of, and keep the loan secret until it was paid.

The confusing part is, after all this happened, things seemed to be improving. Wife was a giving me a lot of positive signs; she talked about going to a marriage counselor with me. We talked about future plans (vacations. etc.). It's as if she had to pull off one last deception and then she was ready to work on the marriage.

Since she didn't want to talk, I gave her time. . . I was waiting for her to come clean and tell me what was going on. Finally, just a few days ago, the topic came up, I got the anger thing again. She said she was going to pay the credit card (but didn't mention the other loan). I just couldn't stand being lied to and so I finally told her I knew what she was up to.

She would not tell me where the money went. Maybe it was loaned (given to the OM). I have no idea. So, rather then tell me the truth she decided it was time to end the marriage. She packed some of her things and is preparing to move out (but is still here).

So, that's where I am at the moment.