Thank you The counselor I talked to said I put too much pressure on myself, and it's all from me. My parents don't and never have pressured me to do well, exceed, etc-they just love me for me, which is great. It's all about self motivation. I guess that's part of why I am the way I am with the relationship - I don't want to give up and have a failed relationship. But I know I've done MORE than enough, more than most anyone would. I know if/when this ends, I've done everything I possibly could to make it work.
But I know I can't keep going the way things have been. I know I can't do all the work and being treated like crap. IF he and I are going to have a future - he needs to step up and he needs to do it NOW. He complains cause I have been so focused on the relationship and especially in the past 6 months or so I've talked about it so much - last night I told him maybe I would back down if he stepped up. ( ) Last night I also told him if this is a game, if he isn't planning on doing any work & if he is planning to leave - then just leave. I also told him that I'm really struggling whether or not to keep going, to put any more effort in.
we'll see. i'm in the middle of the storm. thanks for being here for me and understanding.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
