This is the exact problem I am facing. I may not be 100% committed to letting my wife go, but I am trying. With two young kids though, even if she not having an affiar at the moment, it will only be a matter of time before she finds someone again. The thought of another man spending as much time with my kids as I will be allowed kills me. So when I am in dettach mode, it rips my heart out because it feels like I am gambling my futute with my children. How is a man supposed to do that and begin to feel better about himself. I am very early in my problems, they have just been brought to my attention, but this last week has been terrible, and I do not know how I will be able to to do this for any length of time....
As for some OM spending time with your kids you need to talk to your W and inform her it would not be wise to bring OM in and out of the kids lives.
I agree with you that when kids are invovled it takes much more time to detach. But I will tell you as time goes on you will be able to as long as you: 1. take care of yourself 2. be the best dad towards your kids when you have them 3. focus on the future (Postive)
I am going on my 1 year anniversary here and I can tell you I've come a long way since the start.
I am currently using plan 2b, seeing OW. This is a very powerful thing with a spouse sees you with someone else. I heard it really gets their attention.
keep moving forward
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
