Quote: It seems to me, that bitterness comes from that raw, aching need for love COUPLED with the belief that we cannot get what we need.
this particular point was brought up recently by karen in sage's thread - not exactly in this context but similar - sometimes like sage, i can't exactly put my finger on what i am bitter about. is it him, or is it me?
Quote: Most of us went from the belief that infidelity meant the end of a marriage, to the hope (after reading Michelle’s books) that our marriages could be saved.
here is where i had a most difficult time, because i was one that said in my marriage that if he EVER cheated on me, i was OUT the door. i cannot believe that in one day, my whole belief system changed, and i think i struggled with forgiving myself more than i struggled with forgiving him.
in looking back i was more mad at myself then i was at him. bitter i believe at me, to not know enough about myself to know exactly what i wanted. it actually took me a good FIVE MONTHS before i came to a clear decision that i could live with and fight for.
Quote: Some of us in Piecing still struggle with bitterness – but this is usually as a result of our belief that our needs are not going to be met over time.
ah, i think this is the crux of the matter here. this is where you really have to realize that your needs cannot be met if you have no idea what your needs are. most of us are so totally unaware of what our needs actually are. we just meander thru life counting on other people knowing what it's gonna take to make us ultimately happy
nope, that cannot happen. we first have to know what makes us happy, what brings us INNER joy before we can ever accept anything from anyone
those are my thoughts, quickly - but i am gonna ponder this a bit more
