But it is like throwing a piece of crack down in front of a crack addict. Am I really this codependant?
Possibly, and you need to work on that. You already are, but it's going to take time. I am STILL working on my co-dependency issues, more than 3 years after confronting (and busting) my wife's affair.
Since she has now pestered you with this latest text message, I wouldn't recommend sending my suggested response, above, until maybe tonite or tomorrow. Then you preface it with a "Sorry, just saw this -- been a crazy day. Not sure what my plans ...." etc.
