Today the W and I are meeting with our pediatrician to talk about how to break the news to our daughters, and even talk about our custody agreement.
Then she's off to her hometown with our two Ds until Sunday. This is going to be a really hard time for me, not seeing my daughters for so long. I'm their primary caregiver, I cook 99% of their meals, get them dressed, put them to bed, everything.
My marriage is really ending. I've accepted that now. I'm not even trying to DB now, at least in the sense of getting her back; rebuilding our marriage. I'm just trying to get through each day, take care of myself, take care of my daughters.
I have a ton of financial details to work out, getting the house in my name, meeting with a mediator to write up the details of our separation, taking her off any of my accounts, etc.
I don't want to lawyer up, but I don't want to get screwed over for alimony and child support. From what I understand, with joint custody there shouldn't be any child support, though I will provide some $$ when I can to help out.
Even if the law says she's entitled to alimony and child support, I think she'll keep her agreement with how we're splitting things up financially. In this plan, I keep all our credit debt (46K), my retirement funds(23k + 25K) and the equity in the house (roughly 10K). She would retain her 401K (28K). This is really in her favor.
But if she changes her mind, then she'll get half that credit card debt too. And she knows that I'd declare bankruptcy as well, screwing her credit for 7 years.
I make about 3x what she does, so she's definitely going to have a hard time adjusting to a lower life style, but that's her choice.
I have no hopes of reconciliation now. It may happen, and I'd be very surprised, but I don't know that I'd want back in a R with her. So many things are wrong with us, and it's probably best to find someone who will be better for me.
