The A/C went out in our home. I called the service guy and they came out. They told me that the A/C is on it's last leg and I should replace it. My W texted me and asked how things were going. I explained to her that I'll need to replace A/C soon and it's going to cost $$$$$. I got a very interesting response
W: How much? Maybe we should just call everything off FFH: Not sure how much I will get bids. Call what off? W:This whole thing... I guess I was kidding. I'm just feeling sad about taking son out of house and you being alone on your birthday. FFH: I'm sorry you feel that way W: Don't be.
She called right after that and asked to talk to son to say goodnight. She is working tonight so she won't be home until late. I'm not sure what any of this means but I've learned not to trust anything she says anymore.
Any thoughts?
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
You'd better wait for Puppy or Coach or Greek or someone with experience.
The only thing that I know is DO NOT jump back in with both feet right away. I think you did great - Call what off? That is awesome, and so is I'm sorry you feel that way.
Will I ever get to this point? Seems like no, but who knows.
Play this really cool you cucumber. This is an interesting twist. You are one of the first guys I picked-up on this site and it has been really interesting to watch your sitch play out. I may have to go back an reread all of it again, but that would probably take a long time.
The A/C went out in our home. I called the service guy and they came out. They told me that the A/C is on it's last leg and I should replace it. My W texted me and asked how things were going. I explained to her that I'll need to replace A/C soon and it's going to cost $$$$$. I got a very interesting response
W: How much? Maybe we should just call everything off FFH: Not sure how much I will get bids. Call what off? W:This whole thing... I guess I was kidding. I'm just feeling sad about taking son out of house and you being alone on your birthday. FFH: I'm sorry you feel that way W: Don't be.
She called right after that and asked to talk to son to say goodnight. She is working tonight so she won't be home until late. I'm not sure what any of this means but I've learned not to trust anything she says anymore.
Any thoughts?
I've learned not to trust anything she says anymore.
If you've learned this, I guess then you already know not to trust what she says, take care of the AC, get bids from several hvac companies, you don't need her help with that, in fact proceed when you get the best bid and get the job done. As for her, let her deal with her guilt which is what's happening right now, smile, be happy, life is good, you're alive, you're a parent, roof over your head, money to fix the AC unit, life isn't all bad ;-)
I think your all right about her being conflicted. I was in bed when she got home and she didn't bring it up today so I guess it's passed. Still waiting on the underwriters to approve my refi... It's getting down to the wire.
Hopefully I can get W moved out by end of month so I can start the beginning of my new life.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
Hopefully I can get W moved out by end of month so I can start the beginning of my new life.
I'm glad to hear it, FFH, because I think this is the best course for you right now. But just be forwarned: it is precisely this vibe that you're giving off (that "I'll be fine, and I want to start my new life") that is attracting her, and causing her to be conflicted.
The REFI has been approved!!!! My STBXW will be moving out this week or next week. I can finally start my next chapter of my life. As soon as I found out I called her to let her know she can get her new place. Soon after I got a text from her that said "I guess I've officially lost my home”. Needless to say I didn’t reply.
An interesting thing happened the other day. My W went to work and I got home expecting to see my MIL watching my son. Her two sisters were there instead. They were very nice and asked how I was doing with all of this. We talked for a bit and I mentioned that I just want to physically separate from W because she was dating and it’s hard living in the same home. Her older sister looked at me in disbelief and said “I thought you were dating”. I told her that I’m in no position to start dating and I would never do that while living together. She had no idea that my W was actually dating. She was very angry and couldn’t believe that W was doing what she was doing.
I apologized to sisters because I thought they knew. They said they didn’t agree with what she was doing and she is making a huge mistake. That was nice to hear but I didn’t want to bring them in the middle of things. It was interesting to hear though how W has spun things to make her look like the victim. Her family has been very supportive of me through all of this and they made it crystal clear that they don’t want to lose me in the D.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
We talked for a bit and I mentioned that I just want to physically separate from W because she was dating and it’s hard living in the same home. Her older sister looked at me in disbelief and said “I thought you were dating”. I told her that I’m in no position to start dating and I would never do that while living together. She had no idea that my W was actually dating. She was very angry and couldn’t believe that W was doing what she was doing.
Excellent, FFH. You see, this is why doing the right thing is always the right thing. Some folks tell you to start dating (try to build your mojo by getting a cheap ego boost), some folks tell you to play bo-peep, but if you had done either of those things, then the Universe would not have provided you with this opportunity to hold your head up high.
Glad to hear you are doing so well.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/29/1011:40 AM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
