I dont want drama. I want EMOTIONS. I want to be content, I want to be able to enjoy the ride, I dont want to be alone or lonely. I dont need anyone, that's clear now, but I CHOOSE for myself to be with that someone that will be on my side against...whatever.
Apart from other things,we are coming to a gridlock as Schnarch says. His free time is ridiculous. I havent "seen" him since Sunday noon and it is Thursday. I am living as single again and although that is nothing new, I have decided it is not for me. He sees it too. I expect him to either avoid it once more or deal with it. It would mean we -together as a couple- make plans, arrangements, financial planning, evaluate options, compromise. I am not pushing things, waiting for vacation time to come. BUT, I faced my dillemma and I have made my decisions. I am ready. I hope he is too.
As it is my favourite thing to do, I wrote him a letter explaining what I feel is missing still and what holds me back. I talked about 2 things and tried to explain those. His reply was per SMS: "Maria I love you and you have nothing to worry about". OK, now, lets deal with those things...? Imagine, we dont have time to talk, let alone analyse situations etc.
For the record, I think she contacted him. I think he will tell me when we see each other this weekend. Lets see if my little voice is right again. K
