Well yesterday was good and bad.
The bad? I had been using a blank notebook to keep an eating an exercise diary - turned to start a new page - and found two pages of H's old musiongs from a year ago - all about how terrible it was to be apart from the OW for the holidays, how magical their love was, how they would never be apart again, how he was going to get a phone and an apartment and they wouldn't have to sneak anymore, how this had nothing to do with his R with me - blahblahblah typical alien stuff and nothing I hadn't seen before but it really threw me, stumbling across it unexpectedly like that.

The good? I called H and told him I was having a bad day, that I'd stumbled across some of my "ex-husband's" writings, etc. I think it made H feel almost as yucky as it did me, to hear what he wrote. He was loving and reassuring, and says he really can't believe how completely confused and messed up he was at that time. He even called my cell phone so he could leave me a voice mail telling me how much he loved me, so I could listen to it any time I felt bad

Also, did my Thanksgiving shopping yesterday (16 for dinner, I think). Check out my thread on Thanksgiving in the Just For Fun forum for some great recipes and a wonderful way to make Thanksgiving a stress-free day. I can't believe how easy it is now to put on a great meal with this do-ahead approach.

Also - on the plane back from Boston I designed a new furniture arrangement for our LR - very much a 180 for me, normally I would leave things in the same place until I died or H rearranged them, whichever came first We rearranged the furniture that night when we got home, then yesterday finished reshelving the books and putting on the finishing touches - it looks great! Also went out to dinner later with some colleagues of my H's (one is visiting from out of town - really great guy). Had two margaritas at my favorite Mexican place, which is one margarita too many for me

So all in all - a potentially crummy day, saved by honestly telling my H what I needed (reassurance) approaching him in a non-accusatory way ("my ex-husband did this") and letting go.

Ellie