Thanks coach, I simply replied that I am handling the issues we disucssed. She replied "if I am being to invasive, I apologize" I replied " no need to apologize I'm getting the kids and going to the gym"
That ended it.
I texted her and told her I was going to make soemthing quick for the kids.
She then got snappy and said there is a chicken defrosted you should have put it in the oven b4 the gym.
I did not engage or respond to that. She needs to realize if she is going to bark like that, I want be on the other end of it. So I left it alone.
Something I have learned is not to tell people that there is no need to apologize, let people apologize, it's there way of recognizing boundaries, if you say don't apologize, you're going to invite more of these types of inquiries.
Do you also see how you told her not to apologize and then right after that you were going to pick up the kids and go to the gym.
Another way of you avoiding confrontation and I'm sure it likely pissed her off something fierce.
As for her getting snappy, let her be snappy.
That defrosted chicken can be cooked tomorrow, no worries.
And you're learning, you don't have to engage or respond to everything, sometimes less is better especially with Mrs. Snappy ;-)
Quote:
...She needs to realize if she is going to bark like that, I want be on the other end of it. So I left it alone.
I'm a big believer in this, I'm all for calm discussions but when someone starts barking at me, I put up my hand and tell them STOP right in the middle of whatever they were talking about.
Don't reward someone's crappy behavior with your attention... ever. Tell them you will talk to them when they're ready to discuss things in a calm and civil manner but until then, nothing.
That way the argument is over, you decided it was over, you took the lead in the situation, you told them that won't discuss things when they're barking or acting poorly, get her used to this by doing this several times if she gets really angry and "barks" or "snaps" at you.
