Uh, you are showing your baggage and that you aren't ready to date.
Someone asks you over for dinner and a movie, and you are assessing the chances of a LTR? Before you even go out once, you are talking about not getting serious?
I don't think she's looking to get laid, either. She is the daughter of a friend, she probably thinks you are safe. And, you are pretty very loudly shouting here, "I AM TERRIFIED OF BEING ALONE WITH A WOMAN," so, I'm guessing it is pretty unlikely that she won't catch on.
How about: "Hey, I'm newly on the social scene again, and I'm taking things very slowly -- it's a big adjustment for me. So, to be very direct, I'd be more comfortable going out than staying in. Can I take you to see Salt?"
Afterwards, you might think about taking a break. You are still trying to treat STBX as your significant other and still too reactive and still too NOT emotionally D. Back off dating. You are too needy, it will not end well.
