It sure has been a long time since I posted anything about my life. I heard this song on the radio and it reminded me of the MLC days and this special place (DB) that got me through the crisis. This is the song that I think really seared into my Husband's heart whenever it played on the radio. We moved finally, which I am thrilled about so we really do get to have the fresh start we wanted. It is strange sometimes to be around family again. None of them had anything to do with me or the children the whole time H was gone. They act totally normal as though nothing ever happened, there has been no mention of the past. The kids are all doing well and are looking forward to starting new schools. D10 still have some health issues but we are taking care of that with the help of some specialists.
Besos and Hugs BND
I'm staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain I'm going to the place where love And feeling good don't ever cost a thing And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain
Well, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong And where your love has always been enough for me I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong I don't regret this life I chose for me But these places and these faces are getting old So I'm going home, well I'm going home
The miles are getting longer, it seems, the closer I get to you I've not always been the best man or friend for you But your love it makes true and I don't know why You always seem to give me another try
So I'm going home, back to the place where I belong And where your love has always been enough for me I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong I don't regret this life I chose for me But these places and these faces are getting old
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all You just might get it all and then some you don't want Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all You just might get it all, yeah
Oh, well I'm going home, back to the place where I belong And where your love has always been enough for me I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong I don't regret this life I chose for me But these places and these faces are getting old I said these places and these faces are getting old So I'm going home, I'm going home
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Chica, nice to see you posting in here....so glad you are all moved in and all is well with your family......as you can see lots of us still in here....hanging till the end.....but getting a life, I was reading some of my old posts and desperation was all over my post,feels so good to have peace in MY LIFE, turned it all over to God and he is providing everything for me and my daughter......feels good not to have to think about him and our situation 24/7 ugh!!!!!! I hated that....but here I am and am doing good.....I remember when we spoke that one time and I thank you for that......your story was terrible,at least mine left and we never really have any contact....you shared with me a time in your life and shared with me some advice and I have tried to remember it....so I thank you again.....enjoy the new place and may God bless that home with love for ever and ever....besos....Irma
I dont think that I ever posted to you but I would always check in to see how things were going. Just want to thank you for your honesty and willingness to offer advice to others.
BND, I'm glad you and your family have moved and have been afforded the opportunity of a fresh start. You and your family went through a very difficult time and yet, everyone pulled together and now it's time for all of you to share in the benefits of what all of you fought for...your family, marriage, etc.
It is rather odd how family tends to pretend that nothing ever happened and the old "sweep it under the carpet" still takes place in families. It's a shame that people cannot face what took place and learn from it the way that you and your family did. However, you came here and shared your life w/all who read your postings and you helped so many during your painful journey.
I want to wish you and your family all of the happiness that life has to offer. All of you have earned it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
BND, Thank you for posting. I am sure that your journey was very tough and painful. I admire your resilience and your ability to forgive. I do love that song and only hope that all the ML'ers will eventually wake up and realize what was waiting for them at home all along.
I often wonder how my ex's family would be if we ever got back together. They certainly did not show any loyalty to me. I guess this is pretty standard but very hard to swallow.
God Bless
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I imagine it's standard for them to sweep it under the carpet. My ex's family didn't show any loyalty to me at all, except one uncle. We have always been good friends and that friendship continues today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Blood is thicker than water. I don't think "in laws" really know how to handle things other then to show loyalty to their family member. Seriously, until any of us came to this place who really ever knew much about a MLC? All I knew was what I had seen in the movies. Red sports car, brief fling with the secretary etc. I knew absolutely nothing about all of the emotional stuff. I assume that when the MLC'er tells their family the reason they are leaving their spouse it probably sounds very logical and credible. Remember MLC'ers lie.....ALOT! My SIL has brought up little things here and there but my BIL and MIL act as if... I am sure one day something will come up but I am not ready to rock the boat.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Good for you BND. My FIL is still good friends with me, although I've noticed he's included OW in his 'jokes of the day' sessions on email. Haven't heard from BIL. Worse is my step-sons, who I had a hand in raising. They are always sweet to me, but there is a tension there. I realize they are in a tough spot. I just keep making little friendly overtures to them, to keep in touch.
I am reading Antonia thread right now over there. The exposing I agree does not work, however Puppy and Allen are giving her good advice as far as boundary setting and enforcement of those boundaries. Allen is very strict with that I see. I wonder if the LBS is ready for all of this so early in the crisis. But I guess in theory there is nothing wrong with having a no affair boundary. The NC rule is also very good.
I guess my question to you BND was there anything that you could have done to shorten his crisis? Do you feel that you made it longer? I guess that is what I see as wrong with the exposure. Penalty time in the tunnel. I do not believe you can shorten the crisis. Exposure will not work for that.
I will be interested who posts here and what they say.
