NOW is the time for you to continue detaching, GALing and generally ... DOING THE WORK! If you haven't read it yet, then I would suggest "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" and both DB and DR.
Pushing too close could easily trigger him to pull back, and as everyone here has said already, the likelyhood that he might pull back into the tunnel is high. Emotionally protect yourself ... love him, but continue to do the work that will help you be a strong, confident, healthy woman whether he sticks around or not!
Good luck! PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
